Josie's Bottle of Nothingness
by Campus Pizza
Summary: An aisha goes to Faerieland and buys a bottle of Essence of Everlasting Apple, then ponders over what it actually does. COMPLETE.
1. Part One, Boring and Mediocre

Josie had just bought a bottle.

This was no ordinary bottle, mind you. It was a bottle filled with essence of an Everlasting Apple.

The aisha had found herself in Faerieland after wandering around for a while. Having bored herself of trying to socialise with the supposedly "insane" aishas of whom she was often told to "just give a chance", she was taking a walk instead. Where had she been walking? To nowhere, really, but eventually found herself at the station in which they give you air balloon rides to Faerieland. Happily, the cloud aisha had taken the soonest ride to Faerieland, and voila! Here she was in a land filled with clouds and fattening foods and many sparkly objects! Whee!

Josie had looked around they city eagerly, wondering where to go first. She often didn't go to other worlds herself, mostly just her human did. They could always tell what world she was at though, because things would appear in their inventory spontaneously, or somehow Josie and her three other siblings would be zapped by lightning or the Lava Ghoul would burn them and cause severe discomfort.

Anyhow, back to the story.

After thinking over where she should go first, Josie came up with a very effective way to solve her dilemma.  She would spin around until she got really dizzy with her eyes closed, then fall over, which is what one normally did when they became very dizzy. After falling down, she would open her eyes, and whatever she was facing she would go to first. 

It seemed much less sensible than eeny miney moe, seeing as she may fall in the direction of nothing, but that thought didn't cross Josie's mind at the moment, for her mind had been filled with thoughts of eating sugary faerie bubbles, of reading intriguing novels about the Fire Faerie, and of completing the crossword puzzle in 30 seconds and receiving an astounding prize just for being so dern smart.

Josie, utterly convinced that her plan would succeed, began spinning quickly, closing her eyes and flailing her arms out to keep balance until she fell over. Since her eyes were closed, Josie was not aware that she had been walking around while spinning, and managed to knock over several people who were taking advantage of the fact that the faerie food shop had just restocked. After eventually running into a lamp-post, Josie fell to the ground and landed face first onto someone's shoe. They wailed and ran away quickly, or at least they did as far as Josie could tell, for her eyes were still closed.

Gah. I'll do the next part of this story later; I'm tired of writing now. Will do tomorrow.


	2. Part Two finally

Authors note: Apologies for having this part up a whole day late, I wasn't in much of a writing mood yesterday. But I managed to put this together somewhat haphazardly, so apologies for it being so long and drawn out.

-------------

Sighing, Josie stood up with quite a lot of difficulty, clinging to the lamp-post so she wouldn't fall over again. After waiting for everything around her to stop spinning at such a strange angle, she blinked a few times and found herself facing the Healing Springs.

Ah, the Healing Springs, How helpful it was in her times of need in which incessantly she had been pulverized by giant ice stalactites, hit by lightning, and beaten by the Ghost Lupe. Josie skipped rather uncharacteristically to the Healing Springs, not seeming to care about the more than a handful of people who were muttering about how rude she was to knock people over for no reason.

 "Oh, hello dear. Are you here to be healed, or would you prefer to buy something?" greeted the kind Water Faerie, lounging on the large rock in the middle of the spring.

Josie hemmed and hawed over what to do. She didn't need any healing, and if she requested that she would probably get something that wasn't worth the time. A snowball, most likely, and those weren't much use. She had heard on the news a few days ago that there were some new potions to try out, some of which sounded quite interesting. Curiosity got the best of the cloud aisha, and requested to see what there was to buy.

Of course, she was allowed to see the new items. The Water Faerie conjured up samples of all of her healing potions so it would be easier to see everything without actually putting any effort in the act of putting things away and getting things out and what have you.

One particular sample stood out to Josie, and not just because it was brightly coloured, which was a reason but isn't the one we're supposed to be talking about. No, the fact that it was the Essence of Everlasting Apple was pretty interesting, too. It had sounded intriguing the first time Josie had heard it on the news, and now here was her chance to buy it and see what it does! Ooh! Spooky!

Josie prodded the sample tentatively, wondering if perhaps it exploded upon provocation. It didn't, which was good news.

"How much is the Essence of Everlasting Apple?" She asked shyly, hoping it wasn't too expensive. Nicking neopoints from her human's bank account was not easy work if the absence isn't supposed to be too obvious. She had only managed to get 3,500 neopoints, so anything over that wouldn't be possible.

"2,500 neopoints," answered the Water Faerie cheerily. Josie did a happy dance in her head. That was just enough! She could buy the potion, go home and play some more games, and put the neopoints back in the bank before her human returned! It was the perfect solution!

Silently exploding with joy and happiness for her fellow neopets, she quickly bought the bottle and scurried back to the station, waiting for the next air balloon to Neopia.

Eventually, Josie found herself back at her marble home on Magical Road, where everything is boring and non-magical, unlike the name suggests. Eagerly clutching her tiny paper bag that held the bottle, she scurried through the courtyard and to her room, bouncing slightly with each step and making odd squeaky noises.

She couldn't stand the suspense any more. Plopping down on her Zen rug and dumping the contents of the bag out on the floor, wondering if perhaps something spectacular would happen.

Much to her surprise (but not yours, I'm sure), nothing happened.

This caused suspicion. Josie wondered to herself if she had been sold something that did nothing at all. Had she been duped? How could she have allowed herself to be fooled like this? She was supposed be the smartest in her family! And then she went and did something so foolish, no one would ever forgive her!

Josie slapped herself for thinking such negative thoughts.

Of course she hadn't been duped. She would have been able to tell if it wasn't real. And besides, the Water Faerie never gave out things that did nothing, much less make you pay for a counterfeit that didn't do anything. But what if it did something horrible? Names can be deceiving, and this one most certainly might be. What if she became horribly ill? What if she changed into species that she wasn't fond of? How could she live with herself? Would she ever change back

No, that wouldn't happen. Apples don't do things like that. Or maybe they do, but only to chias. Seeing as Josie was not a chia nor ever had been, she wouldn't have anything to worry about.

Well, perhaps it did something good. Maybe it increased a stat! Maybe it was like some kind of super-special item that had been released like this just so that people wouldn't make a big deal about it and sell it obscenely high prices! It was a wonderful plan, but Josie had to wonder how they thought of giving it a name that required such thought.

All of these things seemed possible, and just the reasons she gave herself didn't necessarily mean they were true. After all, the Water Faerie really might be selling counterfeit items that don't do anything, and could have connections with someone who would be least expectant of something like this. Josie scowled at the thought, thinking that the Water Faerie she had turned to so many times might be doing work with Nigel the chia, a true embodiment of evil.

Just to be sure though, Josie decided to not test it out on herself. Instead, she would test it out on her lab rat brother, who was currently her sister. If it did something good like raise a stat, there would be nothing to be jealous of, the lab would make it go away soon enough. If it did something bad, the lab could take care of it. The lab always seemed helpful in times like these.

Sticking her head out the door in her room that lead to their dining quarters, Josie found the yellow cybunny wallowing in a wooden chair, looking extremely grumpy about something, most likely having been turned to a female and a jetsam in the same week, then changing into something cute and fluffy the next day. She knew the feeling, having once been the lab pet herself.

The cybunny looked as though he had cut off any connection with the world while staring blankly into space, so Josie found this as good a time as ever to dump it on his head and run away, cackling. He probably wouldn't mind it anyway.

So, Josie did just that. She tiptoed up behind her brother/sister, uncorked her bottle, and poured the thick red liquid right on the top of her sibling's head. It trickled down his back and onto the chair, most likely causing a stain. The part that didn't go back went forward, right onto her brother's nose and most likely in his gigantic cybunny eyes.

He appeared undaunted.

Tentatively, Josie asked him, "So, do you feel anything?" Hoping it came back as a positive response.

Pause.

"Healed."

 "All the way healed?"

 "All the way healed," he confirmed.

Josie smacked herself again and walked back into her room, where she vowed to never think over something so trivial for such a long period of time ever again.

--------------

So, it's done with! What'd you think? Anti-climactic? Stupid? Ingenious? Then say so!


End file.
